Larocque and Roll

Hey Rocky! December 31, 2004

This morning I was sitting in the living room, when I glanced out the window at the huge maple tree in the front of the house. There, clinging to a branch in the wind and rain, was a squirrel.

Now, the sighting of a squirrel is not usually a cause for celebration in urban and built up areas. But here in the country, where we’re surrounded by farms and the trees are pretty far apart, squirrels are a creature of note.

No one is sure how they get out here, just that they show up periodically. And that they don’t last long. The road my parents live on is busy and fast. Plus, our herd of feline domesticus like a little variety in their diet, which normally consists of cat food (Meow Mix), doves (which are really just pigeons with good PR, and pigeons are just rats with wings), mice, and the occasional unidentified creature (”Is that a vole?” “It certainly looks vole-like.” “Seriously?” “I don’t know - what do voles look like?”)

Post-post-Boxing Day buzz December 28, 2004

Another day spent in glorious debauchery.

Yesterday, the ILP tried to go to the kitchen and restaurant supply place and the giant book store. Hilariously enough, both were closed. So I hit both places today.

If you are ever in the St. Catharines area after Christmas, might I suggest stopping by the Book Depot (it’s on Welland Ave. for those in the region). Books that are already on sale are even more on sale for the next few days. I made out pretty good - among other things, two Nigella Lawson cookbooks, A Cook’s Tour by Anthony Bourdain (I’m hooked, I tell ya…), Me Talk Pretty One Day by Dave Sedaris, The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger, and Sellovision by Augusten Burroughs (which I started reading while waiting in line). The clerk tallied up the total and then divided it in half, which made me all giddy and excited and wanting to go back again tomorrow. But I somehow have to get them all back to Sudbury, plus I don’t have room on my shelves (or, at least I’m not going to have room) to house them. Plus, I need to save money for my SEX (stash enhancement expedition - a knitting term) on Thursday.

The kitchen place is really cool, even though I feel like a complete amateur in there. There are so many pots and pans and implements to look at, that I feel that my cooking/baking would improve if I only had that funky looking wire whisk…

The other problem I have is that when you grow up with a mother who loves to bake and does so almost constantly is that you have an unrealistic expectation of how many pie plates, cookie sheets, muffin tins, loaf pans, cake pans, mixing bowls, etc., you really need. Do I need those tiny muffin tins for perfect bite-sized cheesecakes? No. Do I need a deep-dish pie plate with scalloped edging? No. Do I need a round bund pan for making gingerbread cake or poppyseed cake? Maybe, but I don’t need the $40 cast-iron one. So I limited myself to a nice, heavy mixing bowl and a long square pan for making brownies. Yeah, right…

Afterwards, I stopped at the library for a little visit (hi Elaine!) and then went to the yarn store in Fonthill. I got another ball of Dandy to finish the scarf I started eons ago but needed one more ball to complete, and two balls of totally cool novelty stuff - names of which I can’t remember.

And then I came home and finished Kiss of the Fur Queen. Good lord, but it was a sad ending! It was a sad book, but I loved it nonetheless. I’m all sad now, and I don’t really want to read Pi, but I’m going to force myself to anyways.

Movies in 2004

This year was a banner year as far as going to see movies was concerned. In the past, I might go to one or two movies - tops. This year, I went nine - NINE! - times (that I remember). So, here’s how it broke down:

Anchorman - Pretty cheese and over-the-top, but in a good way. Will Ferrell is a genius, and the rest of the cast was pretty great as well.

Blade Trinity - Not bad. Saved by actors other than Snipes. Some funny dialogue bits, occasionally not meant to be funny at all.

Bridget Jones : The Edge of Reason - Meh. Not my favourite, but I do like Renee Zellweger.

Dodgeball - I saw this movie around the same time as Anchorman, and some of the actors appear in both, so I sometimes mix the two up. I’m not a Ben Stiller fan (except for Mystery Men), and didn’t change my mind after this film.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - This was my favourite Harry Potter movie so far. A lot of the “incidental” action - trips to the library, Quidditch matches, etc, were cut, and made the story less cumbersome. The actors are better at playing their characters now, and the addition of Michael Gambon as Dumbledore was excellent. And I liked Alfonso Cuaron’s directing better than Chris Columbus’ because Columbus tries too hard to make his child characters be mature and intellegent, like short adults, instead of letting them act like children. Now that most of them are teenagers, they’re finally able starting to act their age.

Hellboy - Another meh movie. I do think that any film that uses Tom Waits in the soundtrack is worth watching at least once.

Hero - Stunningly beautiful. The cinematography, the costumes, the fight scenes - all bold and striking. The story? Confusing - I’d have to see it again to be certain who was really crossing who.

Shrek 2 - Better than the original, and more geared towards older kids or adults. The best line in the movie is when Fiona is looking for Shrek, and calls out “Shrek?” Puss in Boots responds, “For you baby, I could be.” (You have to hear that line being said by Antonio Banderas to really understand the impact.)

Spiderman 2 - In general, meh. I liked it better than the original, though. (Bonus fun trivia: in the scene where Spider Man is forced to take the elevator, the actor who plays the guy in the elevator is Hal Sparks. Sparks plays Michael Novotny on Queer as Folk, a character that owns a comic book shop and writes a comic book about a gay superhero.)

Happy Boxing Day! December 26, 2004

Here’s to everyone and their families - that you may all have a truly slothful and relaxing day-after-Christmas to recover! May the lines at the Boxing Day sales be reasonable, the salespersons friendly, and that swanky black skirt be in your size! May the books that you sit around reading capture your attention and not let go until you’ve finished the whole thing in one sitting! May all the movies/sporting events you watch today sooth your frazzled minds!

I, for one, have spent a goodly portion of the day eating Christmas cookies and reading Kitchen Confidential (hence the mass consumption of gingerbread and icebox cookies). When I wasn’t reading, I was making tea or trying to get the internet connection to work. (It’s flaky - this morning it wouldn’t connect, but for no discernable reason, it works now.)

Happy Boxing Day from the ILP and everyone else at Chez Larocque!

Stupid Mind! December 23, 2004

IÂ’m sure that everybody knows how much my body hates me
It lets me down most every time and makes me rash and hasty
- Billy Bragg, Sexuality

Over the past four days, I’ve had a grand total of 9 hours sleep. By last night, I was quite tired and more than a little stressed out. When I went to bed shortly before midnight, I kept thinking how much my body will appreciate a good, solid 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It took a while to get to sleep, because every time I’d drift off, I’d think of something else that needed to be done in the morning. Finally, I got up and made a list, and since I didn’t have to try and remember anymore, I dropped right off.

At 5:20am, my Mind woke me up.
“Pssst. Hey!”
“Zzzzzzz… *snort* Wha…?”
“Hey! What about the locks?”
“Huh?”
“The locks!”
“What locks?”
“For the suitcase, duh! Where are they?”
“How the hell should I know? I think they’re on the big suitcase.”
“Well, you should go find them.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t need them. Now shut up and let me get another two hours of sleep, please!”
“What do you mean, you don’t need them? What if someone tries to break into your suitcase?”
“I don’t need them because I’m staying at Chez Larocque. The only person who might possibly want to break into my luggage is Rachelle to look for her Christmas presents.” (Note to Rachelle: Don’t.)
“But where are the locks?”
“Again, I don’t know. Probably on the big suitcase.”
“Fine. Where are the keys for the locks, then?”
“Shit! I don’t know! Will you bugger off?”

At that point, my sinuses decided to get in on the game and started running. For the next fifteen minutes, I was sneezing and blowing my nose and coughing and all sorts of other attractive things. Finally, I got up and my sinuses and my Mind started high-fiving each other for getting me out of bed an hour and a half before my alarm was supposed to go off. Bastards.

I just talked to my mother, and apparently the weather in Toronto is craptacular, but not doing anything at home. I’ll be doing the trek in puddle-jumps (stopping in Parry Sound and Barrie) to gauge the weather and road conditions.

Wish all us travelers luck!

Update: Despite miserable road conditions from Sudbury to Barrie (and moderately bad conditions from Barrie to Toronto, and “Meh” road conditions the rest of the way), I made it home in slightly over nine hours. It’s normally a six-hour journey.

Thanks for the good karma and best wishes!

Heading South December 22, 2004

I was going to post the list of movies I saw this past year, but it needs editing and such and I’m running on empty right about now.

I’m heading home for the holidays in the morning, and the weather isn’t co-operating. It’s snowing a little tonight, but we’re supposed to get more overnight. Plus, there’s a winter storm warning for pretty much all of Southern Ontario tomorrow. However, I’m not exceedingly worried.

As I told a former co-worker in an email earlier this evening (hi Elaine!), “Yes, yes - I know there’s a winter storm warning. We get those every year, but how many times did we actually *get* a storm? (Watch - this time, there will actually be a storm. Just g/God’s way of taunting me.)” (The answer is - rarely. Never at this time of year.)

But just in case the weather is bad and I have to drive through it, could you spare me a thought or two? I should be okay if I take my time and accept that I may have to stop somewhere along the way.

Anyways, g’nite. Maybe I’ll post something brief in the morning.

This is how I knew it was Monday December 21, 2004

When I was in grad school, I would gauge how bad my day was going to be by how early in the morning I started drinking Coke. (I had a similar gauge when I worked at the public library - how insane the day was going to be by how early I was sent to Tim Horton’s for the coffee run. Anytime before we opened was not a good sign.)

Yesterday, I should have started drinking Coke as soon as I got up.

I’d only had three hours sleep. My bad - Karen and I started watching Jersey Girl at around 10:40, and it was going to be late when we finished. Knew that, wanted to watch anyways, and then ended up talking for another two hours after the movie ended. So, right off the bat, I was tired. Not sleepy-tired, but hideously giddy-tired. Giggling maniacally, I got ready for work.

Now, Saturday night when I got home from church, it wasn’t that bad weather-wise - the temp hovered around -10 or so. Over the next three hours, the temp dropped 20 degrees, and the wind picked up. I didn’t plug my car in because I wasn’t going anywhere Sunday, but I did run down Sunday afternoon to plug it in. Did you know it takes less than 10 seconds for your nostril hair to freeze when the temp with the windchill is -46 degrees? I know that now.

Knowing that it was bloody—-ing cold*, I made sure I got down to my car good and early. Went to the driver side door, and it wouldn’t open - terrific, it’s frozen shut. Again. The passenger side door did open, and after unplugging the car, I started it. The car made an awful noise, started, and continued to make funny noises. I walked around the car to try and open the door again, and noticed this black soot-like stuff under my exhaust pipe. Uh-oh - soooo not good.

It turns out that none of the outlets on that side of the parking lot were working, so although I plugged in the block heater, nothing happened. Fabulous. I ended up calling a cab and being 45 minutes late for work.

Karen was home sick, so in my giddy state, I started prank calling her and leaving messages on her answering machine that consisted of lines from movies we’d seen recently. Such as, “You dress in the manner of a male prostitute!”, “Of course, it doesn’t have the long-range capabilities of, say, a sword…”, and “Am I to understand that you have inserted your father’s skull in that ball for bowling?” “No, the guy at the pro shop did that.”

Someone offered me a ride home, but that fell through. Fortunately, I was able to get a ride home with someone else. By the time I got home, the outlets were working again, but I still couldn’t get the door open.

(An example of how cold it was: when the door wouldn’t open, I tried pouring a little bit of water around the frame to try and melt the ice some. For everyone who is cringing and hollering, “NO!” let me assure you that I know better than to do that now. By the time I put the lid back on the bottle and put it down on the hood of the car, the water around the door had frozen. Solid.)

Karen was able to pick me up for dinner at her parents and then curling, where we had the late start time. At one point, I was throwing a take-out rock*** and slipped at the last second. I almost took out the team on the sheet beside us. We were so thoroughly trounced that we just called the game after the sixth end. The scoreboard only goes up to 15, after all.

(And, can I say that I seem to be turning into a curler? Last night I realized that I was yelling at my rocks when they weren’t curling properly. “CURL! DAMNNIT! CURL! NOW! NOW! NOT THAT WAY!” Hence, the cursing and swearing.)

Then, I didn’t get home until after 11, at which point I thought I’d read a chapter of my book. At 12:30 I looked up and said, “Huh. It’s past my bedtime now.”

I’m more tired today, so at least I’m not giddy. And no Coke or cola products were consumed before 8am - a hopeful sign.

(And my car door opened this morning. Yay!)

* I’m disguising the fact that I used a Bad Word because my mother’s going to read this. Hi Mom!**
** It’s a good thing she wasn’t at curling last night - I used a couple of words that didn’t have asterisks in them.
***Throwing the stone fast and heavy - you want to knock the opponent’s rock right out of the rings.

A brush with shmarminess December 18, 2004

(”Brushes with shmarminess” used to be a bit on a radio station I listened to. People would call in and talk about their encounters with celebrities.)

Back in high school, there was this guy in a couple of my classes who was obsessed with Linda Evangelista. He was a funny guy - a cross between “ha-ha” funny and “hmmm..” funny. I didn’t know him really well, but I knew him from a couple of classes and from drama club. Actually, he was in my sister’s class, so she might know him better.

Anyways. This afternoon, I was flipping channels while eating lunch and happened across “Sexy Girl” on the Life Network. And guess who was one of the fashion stylists? Yup - him! It was a totally surreal moment - I kept thinking, “Nah, that can’t be the same Ryan… or is it?” So I checked the web site, and it is indeed the same guy from high school.

It ranks right up there with the time I saw a girl I knew from high school on the Camilla Scott Show, on an episode about obsessive roommates. Her roommates’ obsession was with alphabetizing all her canned goods.

So, what did I accomplish today?

Banking stuff, including paying bills.

Make gingerbread cookie dough.

Returned some videos to Blockbuster.

Dropped off a book at the library, and picked one up that had come in on reserve for me. (I found out later that the librarian renewed a book that I forgot was overdue. I know for a fact that librarians only renew books without asking for library users they like. If they really like you, they take the fines off too

Filled the gas tank. (I tried to ignore the fact that it was under 66 cents the other day, and today it was 78 cents.)

Got part of Denise’s present at the mall.

Got a present for my godfather at the mall (he gets the same thing every year - Dixies from Laura Secord. He doesn’t read this, as far as I know, but I think he’s expecting them anyways.)

Got a Christmas outfit that will probably go over moderately well with my fashion consultants (my mom and Rachelle). I used a gift certificate to make this possible.

Had lunch.

Drove past the LYS without even slowing down. Didn’t have time.

Went to BouClair’s and got material for making bags for Christmas presents.

Went to Chapter’s. Got the rest of Denise’s present and something for Rachelle. Also got a peppermint latte and finished writing a card. Also came up with a cool tagline for the blog that I’ll use in the new year.

Got to the grocery store. I’d planned to get the videos, mail a parcel, and get a few groceries, but I managed to accomplish only the first task.

Came home. Spent next three hours trying to get rid of headache.

Baked gingerbread cookies. The first batch that came out where severely undercooked, and sucked big time. I’m not sure how the rest turned out, except that I left them in longer than the first batch.

Put up Christmas lights in my window. Pretty!

Knitted some. Puttered some.

Watched the first Blade movie, which was on Space (the sci-fi channel). I’m realizing how much better the story is than in the most recent one. Donal Logue was my favourite vampire in that movie. I’m considering making a t-shirt with the line, “I’m gonna be a naughty vampire god!” Or, “Some mother****ers are always trying to skate uphill.”

Went to bed. Umm… eventually…

Frelling weather that causes massive headaches

Earlier this week, it was gradually warming to, like, -6 from where it had been hovering at the -20 (with windchill) mark. Wednesday it was damn cold, but yesterday morning it was warm enough that it snowed most of the day. Big, fat snowflakes - perfect for a snowball fight (Right Karen? Right Jeff?)

This morning, I work up and my head hurt. Not that much, I thought it would go away. Then I stepped outside to run some errands. (Note: the Kevin Smith Movie Day that was planned for today has been postponed, probably until Sunday where it will become the Kevin Smith Movie Evening.) Damn! It was cold enough that it took my breath away! And make my head hurt some more. When the temperature drops suddenly like that, I tend to get really bad headaches. It hurt most of today, and by 3:00, my head was starting to tingle - not good. I skipped running my last two errands, and went straight home to try and get rid of it.

I have various ways of getting rid of headaches that I’ll share with you. Try them in any combo:

• sleeping - good for mild headaches
• Advil liqui-gel caps
• putting on layers of warm clothing, especially hats or scarves - sometimes I get headaches when I’m cold, or I get cold when I get headaches - whatever. I think it has something to do with blood circulation.
• hot water bottle on the back of my neck or shoulders - good for tension headaches
• soaking my feet in hot water - this one works really well. I don’t know why. Use water that is hot hot hot, soak for about fifteen minutes, and voila!
• hot shower - usually a last resort.
• stretching

I tried all of them, and it’s gone now, but I haven’t had the post-headachy-migrainy euphoria that I usually experience. It’s a pleasant, floaty feeling that I usually get once the headache is completely gone.