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Ugh.

I just reread my last two posts, and I’ve realized that they suck. And I can’t think of a single way to make them any better, except to say that: 1) I’m sorry I’m not up to snuff this week; and 2) I’ll try to do better next time.

It’s cyclical – there are times when the words are right there and they are jostling to get out. And then there are times when I can sit and stare at the screen and wonder what happened to all my ideas, which appeared to have vanished into the ether. I do have an epic/soul-baring rant or two I want to get off my chest, but I don’t know if this is the venue for it. One of them has been stewing since the early spring, and has recently come up again. The other is something that’s been bugging me for years.

On one hand, maybe they’re getting in the way of me writing anything else. They are poised at the tips of my fingers, eager to escape through the keyboard and onto the screen, but I’m holding them back and are therefore preventing any other stories from escaping. Or mangling them badly when they do try to get out.

On the other hand, maybe I’m just being lazy. I’ve felt like a bump on a log the past few weeks, with just enough ambition to keep my apartment habitable (and my plants watered, of course!)

I got four books from the library this week. I read one, read the first chapter of another and decided it was crap and I’m four chapters into the third and want to cast it aside for the fourth, which is really the one that I wanted to read in the first place. But I don’t really feel like doing that, either. Bleah.

This too, shall pass.